Monday, April 30, 2012

A long overdue thank you

I wanted to take a momentary pause from my suddenly stressful career planning to thank everyone who is supporting me.

First and foremost, to my wife. Yes I know I already thanked you for your support. But I don't think you know just how much you help. I know I drive you crazy with my constant career shifts, but I also know that you know how much I need you as a sounding board. Which can't be easy, since in the past three weeks I've told you I'm going to switch to industry, then interview for an academic postdoc, then discuss a new field of research. Oh yeah, and we may move across the country if a vague promise of a job materializes. I can only wonder at your strength and ability not to choke the living daylights out of your confused husband.

To my colleagues - you have made the last two conferences pivotal events in my career. Every time I feel lost, someone reaches out to give me a hand. God, I love my field and the sense of collegiality present amongst everyone. I am now included as a peer to junior faculty, and discuss Big Picture Science with geniuses and future Nobel Laureates. More than just a club, my specialty now feels like an extended family. And quite frankly, it amazes me to be a part of such a great community. Which is also why I plan to send a few emails to the preeminent names in the field to ask advice. Hell, I may only know you from one meeting, but I now have confidence that people want to help.

To those of you who comment on this blog - some of you I know by name, some by pseudonym, some simply as anonymous voices, but all of you have helped me reach greater clarity. This blog was initially meant to simply share my experiences on being a dad and scientist (in that order), but it has somehow turned into something greater. I remember when the original Dr. Becca and Prof-like substance wrote about getting more from blogging than they had ever intended. I only understood it at an abstract level until this morning in the car, when feMOMhist provided the same advice (which I was still stewing over) my mentor provided on Friday. This online community is great, providing job advice, example grants, critiques on research plans for job application, and overall emotional support. I can't thank you all enough.

In closing, I am grateful. To have resources. To have support. To have friends. It invigorates me and makes me strive to accomplish all the things you see in me. Thank you for making me a better person.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Job indecision will be the death of me

I used to think I was so good at making decisions, but I think I'm locking up at the time when I can least afford such antics. Yes, was offered a postdoc offer nearby and it pays well. Awesome right?

You'd think so, but I keep going back-and-forth and forth-and-back about it. Pay and benefits will make life easier, but picking up a whole new field is scaring me a little, especially because I want to return to my current field afterwards. I want a quick, down-and-dirty postdoc, but can't guarantee I won't spend the first year learning. I think I'm being overly dramatic on that last point (I know my way around a bench and have never had problems picking new things up), but it is still a concern for me.

And now, a new wrinkle decided to pop up. The latest is an unsolicited offer of collaboration/thinly veiled job offer. While at a meeting, I was approached by someone who had looked up my research and thought we could work together on a project. Very cool, I thought.

Then it was mentioned that they were in charge of a program project that was looking to hire someone with just my skills. They were also submitting a grant that should be scored within the month. Would I be interested in working at their institution? Not as a postdoc, but something greater? Maybe research assistant professor or assistant professor? Umm.... YES!

Why? Because it's 1) still in my field, but significantly expands my knowledge base. 2) It's a good institution. 3) My wife already likes the idea, even though it involves a move. 4) They have a reputation of fostering young investigators. 5) My wife likes the idea. 6) I'm excited at the work.

Here's the problem, and the source of my uncertainty - 1) the grant ain't funded yet. 2) It's not clear what level I'd be hired. I lobbied for a Research Assistant Faculty position over assistant prof because I think I need to learn a bit more, but nothing was obviously formalized. 3) I have met my fair share of bullshit artists, and I always wonder if something that sounds too good to be true is indeed just that - too good to be true. Promises only mean something if there is substance to what was promised. 4) I don't want to jerk around my original offer - it's just not fair to them or the other people looking at their job.

So now, I'm lost. Struggling to reconcile the known postdoc offer with the offer of something better. I suppose this is a good problem to have.

But it's also a problem that is keeping me up at nights and giving me ulcers....

Monday, April 23, 2012

My up or out policy

I'll do my best to report on the reason for my absence and lack of blogging, especially since it directly relates to my struggles toward getting a job. I'll share the rest in later posts, but it started with a last minute, thrown together (by me) job interview that apparently went better than I hoped - I was offered the job (postdoc). The only problem is that I don't think I want the job. Nothing wrong with the institute (its a good place), the lab (very friendly), the benefits (YES! A postdoc with good benefits!) or the research (different from what I've done before, but very cool).

The problem, you see, is not them. It's me. Because I can't stomach another postdoc that isn't a step up. A BIG step up. 'Cause if I ain't movin' up, it ain't worth moving for.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Is silence better than honesty?

Hell no -I'd rather know.

I had an interesting thought regarding the comments to my last post. I had posted a particularly bad rejection notice (email) I received during my academic job search. Almost uniformly the comments honed in on my example of why industry values its workers more than academics.

I don't necessarily agree.

Yes, I have gotten my fair share of rejection letters from my academic job search, but I've gotten far less contact in previous industry searches. I honestly think that although some letters are egregiously written and not flattering to the institution that sent it, the very fact that someone took the time to let me know I was no longer in the running shows that they do care about applicants.

Contrast that to the seeming black hole of industry job applications. Although my most recent experiences are only in watching fellow lab mates during their job searches, I think the one overall truth that appeared was that the majority of the jobs you apply for will not contact you. Ever. Doesn't matter if you weren't a good fit or if they went in a different direction.  You only know you didn't get the job because either 1) you're following the company on LinkedIn and see the new hire posted or 2) it's been so long that you forgot that you ever even applied.

Call me crazy, but I'd much rather hear bad news early, even if it is poorly worded and inspires a ranting blog post.

Because then I can move on. And I appreciate the honesty it took to let me know of the situation.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Continued rejection

OK, that title sounds WAY more defeatist than I currently feel. The way I look at it - if academia don't want me, I can make a very comfortable career in industry. Even use some skills I forgot I had. See, I actually have a  semi-business background that has never appeared on my CV because I failed to see how the experience related to teaching.

In any case, I think I may have gotten the most poorly worded rejection ever.
Thank you for submitting your application for the Assistant Professor of XXXX job opening.  We appreciate your interest in XXXX University and for this position.  The candidate selected for employment has been notified.  
If you have not been contacted and extended an offer, this is notification the position was filled by another candidate.  Any applications you've submitted for other job postings are still active.  We extend our best wishes to you in your job search.
That was it. In its entirety. I don't always buy into the whole "its not you, its me" wording on most of these letters, but at least they try and stop you from jumping off the nearest tall building by telling you that it was a tough decision or implying that you were qualified, but not an ideal "fit"....

And what's with the "If you have not been contacted and extended an offer, this is notification the position was filled by another candidate" stuff? Can't they just pretend like I'm an adult and say I wasn't selected? Maybe even use my name?

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Really? Is it that hard to include disabled learners?

OK. I'm about to discuss a topic that I have never ventured into, and only know about from a friend of mine who suffers from Cerebral Palsy. I should point out that he has, using his own words, "triumphed over the disease." He is a lesser-known advocate for the disabled, and has opened my eyes to the mistreatment of many people with disabilities.

The other day my friend told me a story that broke my heart. It was a story about a 12-year old boy who is in a wheelchair because of Cerebral Palsy. After watching an episode of "Glee" he decided to join the chorus and try to "be like the other kids." Throughout the year he participated after school and loved the time he spent in the chorus and was looking forward to singing in the big Spring Performance.

From here, I'll let WLTZ take over:


Cobb County, GA (WXIA) - A Georgia mother says her disabled child was ignored during a choir performance that he was suppose[sic] to be a part of.

...The 12-year old Alex Pollard is sat in his wheelchair a whole bleacher section away from the rest of his choir group. 

The school district released a statement and calls the incident a "regrettable oversight" and that the choral director has accepted responsibility. 

However, the choral director, who is also Pollard's teacher says a student helper was suppose to roll him into place, but was absent that day and that he did not see Pollard. 

Pollard's mother says the incident is unacceptable and she now wonders if this happens in class. 

Alex mother, Arla Jan Wilson says,  "He can't play soccer. He can't play football. You know that is what he does. This is his extracurricular activity with the school and to see the way he was treated and what was done to him breaks my heart because that is totally unacceptable.

The school district says it is investigating the incident. 
Look again at the picture that went along with the story. It only made it worse for me.


What really shocks me is that the entire performance could continue with the student sitting off to the side.

Way to be inclusive!

Quite frankly I am happy that the mother said something and that this story was picked up by the media. This behavior should not be tolerated and needs to be stopped. Nevermind how discriminatory the school appeared to be - I can only imagine how this student must have felt....