Monday, August 26, 2013

I'm back.....

Alright, I know I totally suck, but I honestly didn't know if there was a place for my voice in the blogosphere. Until I read some recent posts and realized that there was still a void that I could answer.... I apologize 'bout the year long absence, but things have been all kinds of crazy here. I'm still suffering from imposter syndrome (which is pretty damn ad considering I'm still only a postdoc...), but I'm getting over it. I still desperately want a job (by that I mean a real, non postdoc job), but I have enough confidence to know that if it isn't going to happen where I currently work, it'll happen somewhere else. Maybe not in academics, but it will happen. And I apologize in advance for those who didn't see it coming - your loss. I WILL do great things, because I am ALREADY doing great things. If you don't trust in me, I don't have the time to convince you. I know the doubters will eventually come around, but I just don't have time for that. I've got two kids and a family depending on me. So excuse me if I'm not patient, but I have things I need to accomplish before I turn forty. Like own a home. Settle down. Have a job that is at least semi-permanent.... I wish I had more, but I'm up to 16 published articles before I even start on the tenure track.... And I'm going to finish my 17th by the end of the week (so help me God...) With that I bid you adieu. And promise you'll be hearing more from me. Although I'm apparently a bit more hostile than before....

12 comments:

  1. Welcome back!

    My DH has been contacting a lot of people from his lab since he left academia, and many of them are now working in industry, including someone who got a MacArthur genius award. Also another TT member of his former department who had passed his third year review quit a week before classes started. Academia isn't everything.

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    1. I know the TT isn't everything, but I can't ignore the fact that something keeps pulling me back. But in the end I just don't know if it's worth it.

      I don't think that the only measure of success is being called professor. I am more than willing to join the industrial ranks, but I just haven't been able to find a way to either 1) get the information I want or 2) apply/get responses to the jobs I'm interested in.

      Before I found my current gig I talked to a lot of industry contacts and discovered jobs I might be suited for that I had never even considered. While I knew years in R&D might not be the place for me (except in very special corporate environments), I got interested in exploring more of my creative side....

      Yes I can make it in industry. But the damn maddening problem is that I also think I can kick ass anywhere I go. I don't mean for this to sound egotistical, but it's kinda hard to find a direction when you see yourself as a compass rose....

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  2. Welcome back! You're all edgy now! nandm are right, academia isn't everything. I'm accomplishing more (and getting paid 3x more) having left for the corporate world. And congrats on 17 articles.

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    1. We'll see how long the edge lasts. I'm no CPP and get warm and fuzzy way to quick....

      I'm glad you brought up money, because that is one of the big issues here. I'm barely scraping by, yet I know that we (as a family) make more than my parents ever did. Sure, maybe I need to adjust for inflation, but the fact remains that neither one of my parents finished college. Yet they could afford to buy a house....

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    2. Oh, I feel you there. I'm making more now on a per hour basis, but we have no hope of buying until this debt is down/gone. My parents, when they were my age, had bought nearly 100 acres of land and were building a house they designed on it. Mom with only an associates, dad with a bachelors. Heck, my younger brother took a very different, seemingly more practical route (went to college, did not do academia) than me and is now looking to buy a home, plus he has a huge savings account and zero debt. No need to adjust for inflation there.

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  3. Welcome to the jaded, dark side, Dr. Dad. You'll like it here.

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    1. To be brutally honest, I don't know if I can subject myself to another TT search committee. Based on the last time I trotted myself out in front of TT search committees I am at best lumped into the top-middle of applicants. MAYBE 15th percentile (although that might be a bit too generous).

      Problem is that still get me bupkis. No interviews, no chances.

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  4. welcome back! got happy when I saw the post pop up in my feed :)

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    1. Aww, shucks, you're making me blush.... :P

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  5. Thanks for the encouragement! I'm not sure if I'll remain as angsty as this post suggests (it's not normally part of my personality), but I'm not going to filter it out quite as much as I used to.

    Even with that thought, I know I'll be fine no matter what, but I wish I knew more about how to go about an industry job search....

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  6. Not saying I'm having that much of an advice for the industry search (I'm in a small industry like setting atm) but if you want to bounce ideas/thoughts/questions shoot me an email and maybe I can help a little?

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    1. My thoughts are still all jumbled up inside me right now. One of my biggest questions (and one I'll email you, but maybe not until this weekend) is how you like your job. And what it's like. Do you have autonomy? Is it boring as $hit or do you have intellectual stimulation?

      Maybe that last one was a bit raw, but it's one of my greatest fears of industry. I LOVE coming up with creative questions and solutions to problems, but I'm terrified of getting hired as just another pipetting hand of industry.

      That's not to say I don't like benchwork. I just don't want to lose the opportunity for esoteric contemplation in the mad rush for cash....

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