Based on my K99 score, it appears that an academic career will be an uphill battle, at best. They ain't gonna fund this puppy. I can't say that the news was particularly shocking to me (I've written enough grants to have been concerned about my application), but it's still deflating to me.
I don't know why, especially since my private desire after receiving my PhD was to enter industry. Maybe it's because I felt that people (advisers, family, friends) wanted me to be a professor. That it held some sort of cache.... But I suspect the real heart of it is that I haven't the slightest idea how to get a job anymore. I know the academic system backwards and forwards, and know all the potential pitfalls I could fall in during early career stages. But industry remains a bit of an enigma to me.
What does the job market look like for a 5+ year postdoc? What kind of jobs are available? What do these positions actually do? Once I find a job posting that fits how do I get past HR? What are they looking for in a candidate? What is the best way to leverage my professional network?
Today starts the official restart of my job search. And I am feeling more than a little anxious. Deep breathing is helping a little, but I still feel waves of uncertainty. Is it possible to suffer from impostor syndrome before you even have a job? In the meantime, I think it's time to find better stress management techniques and choke back this feeling of being overwhelmed. 'Cause what I'm doing right now ain't exactly helping my situation any....