Monday, August 31, 2015

Scientific Knowledge - At What Cost?

Yet another colleague got divorced. Is it our personalities or profession that makes family life crappy?

I wish I knew the answer. It unfortunately seems all to common and I am worried I am headed down the same path.

I always tried to put family first, but lately it seems that the person I care about most can't see that. Can't see the sacrifices I've made, the struggles I've overcome to provide what I thought would be a better life for my family. Instead, low pay, a crappy boss, and unemployment have eroded my dream so much that I wonder what is left.

I feel like a laughing stock, made fun of for believing I could make a difference in science while making a difference for my kids. For working at home instead of staying in the lab 60 hours a week.

I guess it's true that hindsight is 20/20. Only wish I had a way to go back  and make some changes....

1 comment:

  1. I think we all struggle with these questions, balancing job-lifeoutsidejob-exercise-reading etc. Add to that the added stress of children and trying to pursue a job that is quite relentless and probably not satisfied with a 40hour work week. And what I've realized about myself - the ego/ambition that drives the work forward. I think that has been the major difference between me and my partner(s) - the ambition, the drive, the high performance and the want to make a difference (oh the ego...).

    I'm in the divorced section - albeit not the traditional "we stayed married for a long time with children" so I can't really speak to that process. I did notice the other day at work though, that the PIs around me were all married (I was the only one without a ring), however I know that about half are on their second(or third) go.

    It might not be the job as much as the ego/ambition and that is where the sync has to happen. Most long term marriages I've met have been an understanding that person A's career is the important one and the Person B is happy with their section in the relationship. Of course, in all my wisdom - I'd probably not take my advice on relationships.... all this ranting, and no good answer. (Apart from, don't over think about "what if". Now that's a thing I know I do too much. It doesn't solve anything. Look forward and move forward.)