Tales from the speed dating...errr job fair scene

I'm not a big fan of job fairs. The giant cattle call, the smell of desperation heavy in the air.

But then again, that might just be because the last of these events I attended had the unfortunate coincidence of occurring the week after 500+ local jobs were cut from the pharma industry. It's hard to feel good about the situation when you're wading in with 50+ year old heads of families. And even harder when the recruiters focus on you instead of them. And you're not actually looking for a job....

But alas, I digress.

Yesterday, I decided it was time to brave the masses and try and get a little more info about industry jobs. At a job fair.

It actually was a fairly good (although exhausting) experience, possibly because my expectations were so low. I actually got several good leads and recruiters opened up (far more than I expected) once I told them my experience (I have an actual post-graduate degree, unlike most of the undergrads around me) and that I was NOT looking for an immediate position.

They actually seemed relieved that I was looking for something a year out. The cynic in me says they were just happy that they didn't have to do the hard sell, but I honestly think they were excited to see someone who was proactive in their potential job search. And many gave me (relatively) personal emails and told me to keep in touch.

Not exactly what I was expecting, but a good experience none the less.

And now I have to take the time to send out my email flurry (of thank yous) and update my bookmarks (career pages for various companies). Yes it's a pain, but not all that bad in the big picture, especially since I got a few local leads that I had never even thought to pursue.

And I can sleep somewhat more secure, knowing that plan F (or is it G now) is in motion.

Hell or high water, I will have a job next year....

The dessert request I don't mind.... Usually

My oldest son has discovered gum.

After getting over the initial fear of him swallowing it without chewing, I decided to cave in to his persistent queries and hand over a piece of gum. Nothing fancy, just a bit of Orbit Winterfresh.

Turns out he loved it and now asks for it for dessert.

Hmmm... Let's see..... Sugarfree? Cleans his teeth? Gives him fresh breath? And better, it's a replacement for cookies? SIGN ME UP!

And then the inevitable happened.

As I was attempting to motivate him into getting dressed in the morning instead of staring slack-jawed at the TV, I noticed something.

Something in his hair.

It was sticky. Kinda chewy.....

NNNOOOO!!

Gum had somehow gotten in his hair.

My wife cheerfully let me know that peanut butter would help it get it out, but failed to mention how I could convince my 6-year old that having it spread into his hair right before school would be a good thing. Although to be fair, I wasn't totally convinced that the uber chunky peanut butter(what ever happened to regular chunky? I never signed up for "extreme peanut butter!)  we had would work anyway...

So I pulled. And I cut.

And my son is getting a haircut tonight.

Why it's important to talk to funding agencies

So, you want a grant.

You got a plan on how to do that?

Does it involve talking to the granting agency? Because it better. Unless you don't care if you get the grant or not.

Here's the deal. The little secret that all established PIs know, but few postdocs understand. Whether it's the NIH or NSF or a foundation, these agencies WANT TO GIVE YOU MONEY. Make it easy for them to hand over the check by talking with them first. See what they are looking for. Find out what hurts applications.

Here are some personal examples of how talking to the NIH saved my hide.

1) I had just gotten the score of my resubmitted NRSA back and I was devastated. I thought I had made the changes they wanted, but this time it got scored even lower. "WTF?" I thought. So I emailed the Program Officer (PO). and asked for clarification. To be honest, I never expected to hear back from her. Instead she replied immediately and we set up a time when I could call and talk to her over the phone. Once I called, she listened very patiently to my, made some very good suggestions, and clarified some administrative issues (I didn't realize that I still had another opportunity to resubmit). She also made it clear what kind of experiments and preliminary data I would need to be successful. 

So I took her advice and submitted a vastly improved grant. And scored in the top 10% Not bad for a grant that had just been triaged.....

The point is that I never would have known what I did wrong, or how to fix it, unless I talked to her.

2) As my funded grant neared completion, I started looking at writing another grant. A K grant. Maybe even the dreaded K99. I immediately sent an email over to my friendly PO and discussed what the intent of the K99 was and what they were looking for. Not only did she reply and answer all of my questions, but she again had great advice for me. She even helped me with some of the technical aspects of these awards. Specifically, you can't be in your 5th year (at least in my Institute). However, the deadline applies for the submission, not the due date. In other words, I was told to apply early (before the due date) to get around this restriction. 

This solution is not something that I would have thought of, and was frankly shocked that it was suggested.

 3) I was at a meeting and was chatting with someone from an NIH institute that I was not that familiar with. After she heard what my research was, she proceeded to tell me about a funding mechanism that I had never heard about through her institute that would be a "perfect fit" for me. Needless to say, I am going to start working on my application in a month or so. 

The point of these examples is not to say that I am well connected. Because I don't really think I am.

The point of these examples is to let people know that funding agencies want to help. Use them, or ignore my advice at your own risk.

Writing review articles is hard!

I never realized how difficult it was to write a good review until I tried writing one myself. I can write a bad one in an afternoon, but I'm aiming for producing a Nature Reviews article (even though that's not where I'm submitting this, I always want to produce the best material possible). And apparently that takes time. At least for me.

Not only do good reviews encompass an expansive exploration of the literature, but they must bring something new to the table. Some unique perspective or spin that makes people want to sit up and take time from their day. And if it is particularly interesting, people will hopefully cite it.

I suppose one of my problems is that I find it difficult to keep it focused and on topic. Partially that's because I'm so excited and passionate about my topic that I want to go on and on and on and on about it, but I'm not convinced that readers would appreciate a soliloquy on why my gene is the most important gene in the universe. (because, although I'm a bit biased, I think it is). The other reason is that I think I stumbled upon an awesome story that could be paradigm shifting (but don't we all say that), and I want to share it with the world.

But I digress.

I've written many research articles, but in my opinion, this review is the hardest thing I've ever tried doing. I've narrowed down the scope to make it palatable, yet I continue to see new research that I feel I must incorporate into the story. At some point (it better be soon, methinks) I better just stop reading and pull the plug and submit this..

After all, what good is a review if it's never submitted....

Importance of a second postdoc for tt?

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Call me doctor

So yesterday I did a thing that makes me feel... a bit smarmy.

I referred myself as Dr. Dad.

In public.

While making reservations for dinner.

To be fair, they wouldn't accept my reservation the first time I called. Strangely, when I called back they had room for me, but only after I introduced myself as a doctor. While I suppose it's possible that in the five minutes it took to call back there was a cancellation, but I think it might have something to do with me waving my title in the face of the hostess.

The problem I have is that I was always taught to be modest and humble. That everyone was equal. Maybe it's my Midwestern upbringing, but I feel that I should be noticed on the merit of my work and personal interactions, not the letters before or after my name. I sure as hell know that the piece of paper that will eventually be hanging on my office wall does not show what kind of person I am.

And yet I didn't hesitate to call myself "doctor" to ensure that my wife and I (the kids are being blissfully watched by a neighbor) have a needed night out.

And you know what? I'd do it again in a heartbeat if it helps me get what I want.

Have I changed? Or learned the system? I'm not sure I know.

And I honestly don't know if I want to know the answer to that question....

Today's backhanded compliment

Head of core facility: "So.... How long until you graduate?"
Me: "Ummm... Wait, what did you say?"
Head of core: "When will you get your degree?"
Me: "About 6 years ago. I'm a postdoc. Looking for a job as an assistant professor "
Head of core: "Oh, I'm sorry. You just look so young."
Me: "Umm.... Thanks, I guess.... I'll go back to writing that grant now, OK?"

Although I was tempted, I avoided the snide comment that was lurking in the recess of my overwhelmed mind. Personally, I think I'll chalk it up to cluelessness on the part of the Head of core facility. After all, my complete lack of sleep and disheveled appearance come from my two lovely children, not rough nights on the town. If there is any doubt, you'll find Cherrios in  my pocket and a Dora the Explorer app on my phone. The snot stain on my shirt is not my own.

At some point I'm sure I'll be flattered by such statements, but it rubs me the wrong way right now, especially as I'm in the middle of a job search and trying to portray myself as being mature, focused, and no longer pre-pubescent....

And then I got carded at the liquor store.

<<SIGH>>

It's good to be back...

...working in the lab.

Other commitments (grants, manuscript writing, administrative duties, teaching) have not allowed me to spend as much time in the lab as I would have liked. But the good news is that next week I finally get a full week doing lab work. And it's about time - I'm not sure if I've lost my pipetting skills....

One of the things that I never appreciated is how other work-related projects can eat into lab time, and how it negatively effects productivity. Speaking from experience, I need to get much better at this. Although I've taken on a lot of extra work (to learn the ins and out of running a lab), I'm afraid I may have shot myself in the foot and my cv is suffering.

Historically, I've always had periods of intense research activity followed by periods of intense analysis/writing, but I think I need to balance this better. After all, I know it's not going to get any better once I get my own lab, and I truly feel that a more even approach is needed to sustain long-term research projects.

Wish me luck!

Academic job search update

A few people have asked how my job search is going, so I thought I'd post some specifics.

37 jobs applied for, 5 rejections so far. Some of these applications were a stretch and many were not specific (e.g. looking for a "molecular biologist:), so I don't really mind a low success rate (success judged by the number of phone interviews I get).

The earliest application was due in September (and I'm assuming I didn't get it since I haven't heard back) and the latest closing date was 1/15. The bulk of the closing dates were between December and January.

I'm still hopeful, although I'm shifting my focus toward writing a K grant application from the NIH. This way if I don't get an assis. prof. position I can hopefully still do some research in the Fall. My current lab MAY have money to support me for a year, but it is not certain. 

More updates will come as things happen....

Time to rise

Although I in no way feel oppressed as a postdoc, I do wish I had a little more say in things. Or control of my future....

So what am I gonna do about it?

Sit at my desk and complain?

Hell no! I'm working my butt off to generate data and struggling through the hardest manuscript I've ever had to write. I'm networking like a fiend, carpet-bombing my application wherever I can. Ignoring rejection and hoping my reach exceeds my grasp.

When one of the top five labs in my field asks if I'm planning to work on a project similar to theirs, I say "yes, yes I am. Why do you ask?" and go back to pipetting. If they want to compete, fine. I can use the validation and exposure. Because at the end of the day I know I can't compete with their speed or resources. But I can put together a more complete story and come up with ideas that would blow away the average researcher. And if the want to collaborate, even better. 

But when I get asked if I want to give up.... Do I cave under the pressure? Fold up the tents and head home with my tail between my legs?

Or do I prove once again how I can be a tenacious S.O.B. that refuses to give up? That finds the inner strength to kick some scientific ass? That not only survives under pressure, but strives in ways that no one thought possible?

Do I really need to answer?

Instead I'll post some old school inspiration.

Yes it's heavy. It keeps me moving. Striving. Hoping. And I don't care what anyone thinks as I headbang while pipetting. I'm getting data, and that's all I need to do right now.