Thursday, October 27, 2011

How to freak your wife out

I made a mistake. Perhaps even a cardinal sin.

I expressed doubt about my current Tenure-track job hunt to my wife.

Or more specifically, I mused about the probability of a department actually getting back to me for a follow-up interview.

I probably should have known this wasn't the smartest conversation to have, but I am cursed with a very ineffective personal filter when it comes to my wife. She knows everything. What I think, what I fear, what I love. Everything.

Anyway, she didn't really respond well.

She didn't totally freak out or anything, but she did ask, in a VERY serious voice, what we would do if no one was interested.

Fortunately, I have a plan B (and even C) in place so it wasn't a big deal, but I feel horrible for raising her blood pressure and inducing a panic on the drive home....

So I am now forcing myself not to listen to my doubts, but rather stay positive. After all every little thing is gonna be alright.


  1. It is good to have back-up plans.

  2. Actually I have several...

    It starts with re-writing/reapplying for my K99.

    Then it moves into looking for industry jobs.

    I'd like to say I could do another postdoc, but after 5 years I'm getting tired of training and I'm chomping at the bit to ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING....

    Anyway, it's all good and I'm sure I'll be a bit happier once I finish submitting this pile of TT applications.

  3. Things have been crazy here, but when I read this a few days ago I laughed. Husband never asked me the question your wife asked--probably because I was too busy asking it myself. Yes, admitting things might not work is a good way to freak out anyone. It's good you have other plans.

  4. I've been married for 10 years and I knew my wife before I entered grad school. So you'd think I knew what I was doing when it came to marriage, right?

    Well, this incident taught me another valuable lesson that I really should have known already.

    Don't always opt for full disclosure.

    I'm not saying I'm planning on hiding anything from her (as if that were even possible), just that I'll have the spin prepared ahead of time.

    And I'll smile. A lot.

    With luck it will pass as optimism, and not delusional. But then again, she does know me very well...